


I'll keep your brittle heart warm

by ohjustpeachy



Series: Tony Stark Bingo Fills [18]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustpeachy/pseuds/ohjustpeachy
Summary: They got married when they were young, just twenty-four years old, despite the arguments from their friends that they should wait, that neither of them were ready for a commitment like marriage so young. Steve distinctly remembered Sam pointing out that the male brain isn’t even fully developed until age twenty-five. But they were young and passionate, so sure they’d found their perfect person that they could overcome anything and everything life threw at them.And it was true.For six months.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Tony Stark Bingo Fills [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601260
Comments: 44
Kudos: 309
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV





	I'll keep your brittle heart warm

**Author's Note:**

> for the square K3: protectiveness on my tony stark bingo card (#4017, peachy)

“So,” Natasha says one night when they’re out for drinks, “I have to tell you something, but I want you to know that if it makes you mad, you can just tell me no and I’ll drop it.”

Steve swallows down the last of his beer and leans across the table, trying to hear her better. “Not off to an auspicious start here, Romanoff,” he says.

She gives him her best winning smile and continues. “I was thinking of setting Tony up with my friend from the store,” she says. “Unless you don’t want me to! But you guys seem to be in a really good place and I just… he’s alone so much these days,” she explains. 

Steve knows he’s still in the same crowded bar, surrounded by just as many loud strangers as before, but he suddenly feels like he’s alone on an island somewhere, surrounded by deafening silence. He lifts his glass as if to take a sip before remembering that it’s empty, and sets it down with what is probably too much force. 

“What guy?” Steve tries to sound measured.

Natasha studies him. “Um, that guy Thor, the blond?” Natasha works at a brewery, one of the more popular ones in town, and she was constantly introducing them to new friends and employees. It was great when Steve wanted a new friend, someone to introduce him to his next favorite craft beer. It’s less so when she’s introducing his  _ ex-husband _ to one of them. Natasha’s employees are almost always ridiculously charming, they kind of have to be to deal with the public for so many hours a week, after all. Steve met Thor all of one time, and remembers him being all cascading blonde hair and strapping muscles as he tossed jokes and hauled drinks effortlessly.

His stomach feels sour and he immediately feels guilty. Steve’s been out on dates, of course, though nothing serious. And he hates to be petty, to keep Tony from something that might really make him happy, just because it couldn’t be Steve anymore. 

“Oh, yeah, he’s… nice,” Steve says, nodding carefully. 

“You remember him? He’s funny, I think they’d have fun together,” Nat explains, still clearly studying Steve’s face for signs of distress. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Steve agrees. He reaches for his empty glass and shoots Nat a questioning look. “Need anything? I’m going up.” 

Her answering “no,” is hardly past her lips before Steve’s throwing himself into the crowd of people and heading towards the bar. 

Tony can go out with whoever he wants, seriously. They’ve been divorced for five years now. They’re totally different people now than they were when they got married. Hell, they’re different people now than they were when they  _ divorced.  _

Steve orders a refill, and while he waits, he thinks about his ex-husband. It’s still weird, even after all this time, to think about Tony in those terms.  _ Ex-husband _ . 

They got married when they were young, just twenty-four years old, despite the arguments from their friends that they should wait, that neither of them were ready for a commitment like marriage so young. Steve distinctly remembered Sam pointing out that the male brain isn’t even fully developed until age twenty-five. But they were young and passionate, so sure they’d found their perfect person that they could overcome anything and everything life threw at them. 

And it was true.

For six months. 

Then Tony’s parents had died, both gone in the blink of an eye in a car accident, and Steve’s best friend was deployed to Afghanistan, all of which put immense pressure on their relationship with each other. They both needed more than they could ask for, and neither knew how to give the level of support the other required. It was a ticking time bomb in a lot of ways, and finally, when they were twenty-five, they signed divorce papers. They were broken and hurting, and they couldn’t be there for each other when it mattered most and so they had both suffered. 

It still hurt Steve to think about, but it wasn’t like they’d cut all ties. They were still friends, believe it or not. Steve was a good friend, just ask Bucky or Sam or Nat. 

“Sam Adams,” the bartender says, snapping Steve out of his reverie long enough to pay for his drink and make his way back to Natasha at the table. 

“You should set him up with that guy,” Steve says, as if he doesn’t know Thor’s name, like he couldn’t be bothered to remember it.  _ If only. “ _ They might really hit it off.” 

Nat pauses, watching as Steve takes a long pull of his beer before setting it down and nodding. “You’re sure?” 

“Of course. You’re right, Tony is alone a lot. He deserves to be happy,” Steve says. That he wishes they could be happy with each other goes unsaid. 

“Okay,” Nat says. “I’ll think about it.” 

Shortly after this conversation, though, Sam and Bucky join them, and if Steve has a few drinks more than usual, well, that’s really no one’s business but his own. 

If he texts Tony  _ hey, stranger _ , after his fifth beer, and ends up with a sloppy smile over his face at Tony’s responding  _ hey yourself, _ well, no one reads his texts but him. 

Certainly it’s between Steve and his Uber driver if he ends up out front of Stark Tower just after midnight, grinning as a familiar face lets him upstairs. 

*

_ Since when do you drink so much? _

_ I don’t, usually. We were celebrating Nat’s work thing, and one thing led to another…  _

_ I’m hardly complaining. I can’t believe it’d been so long since we’d seen each other. _

_ I know. I kinda missed you. _

_ Only kinda? _

_ Tony… _

_ Steve… _

_ More than kinda, but I shouldn’t say that stuff anymore _

_ You were much more confident saying that stuff last night. _

_ Whoops? _

_ Again, not complaining :) _

_ * _

“Tony?” Steve says, incredulous to find his ex-husband standing in front of him at the twenty-four hour gym he sometimes frequents late at night.

“Steve? Oh, god,” Tony says, running a hand through sweat-damp hair. He looks like he’d had a decent work out, something Steve never knew him to do in the past, certainly not late at night when he could be working in the lab or out rubbing elbows with investors. 

Steve’s smile spreads slow and wide over his face of its own volition. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to establish healthy habits, or something,” Tony groans. “Never thought I’d see you here, the Adonis himself,” he teases. 

Steve feels his face flush. “Hardly,” he says, though he  _ is _ glad he came today instead of putting it off, and he’s extra glad he went the extra twenty minutes with the weights. 

“Apparently exercise is good for the body  _ and _ the mind, and my… uh… therapist thought it might help,” Tony says quietly. “To have an outlet that isn’t work. I still have my doubts, but I figured it was worth more than  _ one _ try.” 

It certainly looked to Steve like Tony had been there more than once. His arms have a definite tone to them now that hadn’t been there even a few weeks ago. And as much as he wants to pretend he isn’t looking, well… Steve knows he’s letting his gaze linger over Tony’s face, and his arms, and the way his chest looks in his tight black t-shirt. 

“That’s great, Tony,” Steve says, because it is. Healthy coping mechanisms hadn’t really been either of their strong suits in the past, and he’s glad to see he’s doing better now. Or at least trying to. 

Tony gives a shrug, but Steve can see the pleased smile that works its way over Tony’s lips at his words. 

“What about you, what are you doing here so late?” Tony asks, apparently eager to divert the attention away from himself. 

“I was in the neighborhood,” Steve says, though the excuse is flimsy and he knows Tony will see right through his thin veneer. 

“You’re not sleeping,” Tony says. It’s not a question, and Steve isn’t sure if he should feel relieved or indignant that Tony still knows this, still knows him well enough to know exactly what Steve would be doing at an all hours gym at something approaching midnight. 

“It’s not so bad.” Steve looks up at Tony, who hasn’t looked away from him yet, and feels tense all over at the attention. Tony always had a way of really  _ looking _ at you that made you feel seen and understood and  _ cared for  _ in a way Steve hadn’t experienced before or since. 

Tony makes a thoughtful humming sound. “Want to take a walk?” He asks, and Steve could say no, of course, he could head home, take a long hot shower and lay down and pray for sleep, but…

“Sure, why not?” Steve finds himself saying. 

The night air is soothing, and it’s peaceful being outside in the dark together, like the pressure was off, somehow. 

Tony must feel it too, because they only walk a few feet before he says: “So, I went on a date a few weeks ago.”

Steve feels the earth tilt just a little on its axis and struggles to continue walking normally. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Some god-looking guy named Thor that Natasha found at her brewery,” Tony says with a husk of a laugh. 

“Wow, god-like,” Steve repeats, teasing. 

“You know what I mean. At least, I assume you know him, or at the very least, that she asked you first, because she’s considerate like that.” 

Steve feels suddenly guilty without knowing why. “She did,” he admits. 

Tony’s quiet, thinking. 

“So,” Steve says eventually, because even though he has no right, no claim to Tony or his personal life, he just… has to know. “How was it?” 

“Oh, good,” Tony says. “He was as charming as you might think on a first date. But you know, Nat really doesn’t have to keep this up. I haven’t been out of the game so long that I forget how to get my own dates. Though you did of course ruin me for other men, Mr. Rogers,” Tony says with a sly smile that has way too much of an effect on Steve’s insides. 

“I—” 

But Tony keeps going. “So, why aren’t you sleeping? You have that look about you, like it’s been way too long without any real sleep.” 

Steve knows how he looks, all shadow-eyed and run down, spending his nights tossing and turning and getting up with the sun for a run. It wasn’t hard to believe that Tony noticed those things about him so quickly. And again, Steve could argue with him, but he didn’t see much point in that. Tony knew him too well for platitudes and bullshit, something he’d always loved about him. 

The night is warm and dry and even though they can’t see much of the stars in the city like this, Steve can still feel their presence. And maybe it’s the stars, or the chance encounter with Tony, or just the way he’s looking at him, like he really wants to help, but Steve decides to be honest. 

“You went on a date,” he confesses. 

Tony’s eyes seem to go liquid gold in the half light.

*

_ Morning, Sleeping Beauty _

_ Good morning… It was really good to see you last night _

_ Back at you. Did you manage to get some sleep? You know I worry about these things, Steven. _

_ I did, actually. You shouldn’t worry about me, though.  _

_ I think I’m just wired to care about you at this point, so you’ll have to deal with it I guess _

_ :) _

_ * _

When a few months later it comes out that Stark Industries had lost millions of dollars at the hands of Obadiah Stane, and the company is thrown into a media frenzy of speculation and rumors and endless headlines, Steve doesn’t think twice. He follows every instinct he has to go to Stark Tower and make sure Tony is okay. He’d trusted Stane, Steve knows. He was the last thing Tony had resembling a family, and for him to be doing something like this… 

Tony must be a wreck. And fuming, and hurt, and devastated, and… Steve takes a deep breath, focuses on the steady sway of the subway car, and reminds himself that he’ll be there soon. 

Steve finds Tony exactly where he expects to: in the back of the lab, pouring himself a glass of scotch. 

“Ah, welcome to the circus,” Tony says, pouring another glass and passing it to Steve before he could protest. 

“Tony,” Steve says quietly. 

“To family,” Tony says, lifting the glass and downing it in one go. Steve winces, feeling the burn as if he’d downed the drink himself. 

“Tony,” Steve repeats. “How are you?” He keeps his voice low and measured and he doesn’t look away when Tony’s face twists in a maelstrom of anguish and anger and hurt. 

“Fuck,” Tony says, slamming the glass down. “God damnit.” 

Steve hears the way Tony’s voice breaks just a fraction on that last word, the small way Tony lets himself go just a little. 

“Twenty years,” Tony says. “Twenty years! He worked with my dad, with my  _ mother _ . All that bullshit about being there for me and rebuilding the company with me and he was… what, hatching some grand plan to take it  _ from _ me.”

The thought of it makes Steve inexplicably angry, not because Tony would notice or even miss the money and tech Stane had taken, but because it took so much for Tony to let anyone in in the first place, and Stane had taken that modicum of trust and shattered it. 

“I’m a pretty smart guy, Steve,” Tony fumes. “How did this happen? I should have—”

“You  _ are _ smart, Tony. It’s not—”

Tony holds up a hand, his eyes narrowing. “If you’re about to tell me it’s not my fault, please spare me the platitudes, alright?” 

“Don’t be like this,” Steve says. He knows Tony isn’t thinking clearly, though he also knows he has a tendency to shut people out when things are especially hard. Steve has that same inclination, one of their many problems. 

“Like what?” There’s a challenge burning bright and fiery in Tony’s eyes, no doubt exacerbated by the alcohol, and Steve just shakes his head. 

“You know what I mean.”

“Why are you here, Steve? I didn’t call you. I didn’t ask for you to come here,” Tony shouts.

“I know you didn’t. I had to hear about this on the  _ news _ , Tony. That your company was almost taken from you and you were probably alone here dealing with it,” Steve nearly spits the words, his own anger taking him by surprise. God, what was Tony so fucking  _ stubborn _ for, anyway? Can’t he see that Steve’s just trying to help?

But maybe he couldn’t. 

“So you could, what? Be some kind of knight in shining armor? What do you know about  _ any _ of this?”

Steve stops, stung. Maybe he didn’t know anything about this, the big bad business world Tony has made himself a part of. But he’s always known  _ Tony _ , and that’s what brought him here: his own misguided attempts at making sure Tony Stark is okay. 

Maybe it really is time for Steve to stop doing that. It certainly wasn’t getting him anywhere. 

“I didn’t think,” Tony says, sounding suddenly, impossibly exhausted. Like the fight had gone out of him as quickly as it’d come. He looks around the workshop in disgust, like the whole thing was tainted now, and shakes his head. “I just reacted, I didn’t think you might want to… come by.” 

“We never were good at this,” Steve says with a sigh. He takes a seat at Tony’s workbench, heaving himself into it and looking down into the glass of amber liquid still in front of him. 

“Not so much,” Tony agrees. 

“You just lost the last person you really trusted. The last person you considered family. Of course I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Steve says, his voice quiet but firm. “And I like to think we’ve gotten a little better. That fight would’ve kept going for ages a few years ago.”

Tony nods, his face almost giving way to a smile before he thinks the better of it. “What am I supposed to do now? He was making weapons, Steve, selling them to these war-torn countries behind my back and people were  _ dying _ because of something that had my name on it.”

“I don’t know,” Steve admits. He really doesn’t know what comes next, knows that after this, the drinks and the despair and the anger, will come a stroke of genius, because that’s how Tony operates, but he knows you couldn’t rush that part, either. “But I’m pretty sure you’ll figure it out.”

Tony doesn’t apologize for getting angry, doesn’t thank him for coming over. Instead, Tony looks at him as they sit in the workshop as night falls, and says, “You’re wrong, you know. Obie wasn’t the only person I trust.”

*

_ Seriously, fuck Obadiah Stane, and anyone and everyone ever associated with Howard Stark _

_ I take it you’re feeling better? _

_ Getting there. I have the makings of a plan, and that’s what counts _

_ I never doubted you _

_ You never do _

_ * _

“I want to set you up with someone,” Natasha tells Steve one night in early fall. He groans in response. The last thing Steve needs is to be set up on some horrible blind date, forced to make small talk and discuss himself and his hopes and dreams. 

He tells Natasha as much. 

“You’re alone too much,” Nat says with a wave of her hand. “When was the last time you even  _ went _ on a first date?”

Steve thinks about this. “The last time you insisted on setting me up?” 

Nat rolls her eyes, her point proven. “Just trust me on this one, okay?”

“I thought Tony was the one who was alone too much,” Steve tries. He isn’t deflecting, he knows she’d said that at one point. 

“You  _ both  _ are. Spinsters, both of you,” Nat declares. “Anyway, he was last time, it’s your turn now. I promise it’ll be good, okay? If it isn’t, you’ll never have to say yes again.” 

Steve rubs a hand over his face. “Fine, but this is the  _ last time _ .”

Natasha smirks. 

*

_ Natasha’s setting me up _

_ Oh, lucky you, who with?  _

_ She didn’t say, just promised it would be worth it. Tell me I shouldn’t blow this person off and go have a drink alone somewhere… _

_ You want ME to tell you NOT to go out with some hot guy from her bar? This feels almost too easy…  _

_ Fine, but I’m sending you an SOS if it’s horrible, and you’ll have to come to my rescue.  _

_ Done and done. _

_ * _

The night of the date, Steve’s a bundle of nerves. It doesn’t make sense, because he doesn’t have any real expectations for how the night will end up, but he still finds himself all jittery as he gets ready. 

He stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom and takes in his appearance. He knows he’s an attractive enough guy, his blond hair gelled back from his face, and the sweater he’d chosen makes his eyes look nice, but… The idea of putting himself out there, getting to know someone new, explaining that he’s thirty years old and already  _ divorced _ ... it’s a process, one he feels well past burnt out on. 

_ The last one _ . It’s this that keeps him going, propels him out the door and into the chilly New York night. If nothing else, he’d have a nice dinner, meet a nice guy, and that would be that. 

Steve leaves himself enough time to take the subway down to the restaurant, a fancy sushi place that Nat had recommended, and enjoys the anonymity of the crowds, the hum of the people everywhere. It’s so easy to feel like no one at all on a night like this, just a person in a sea of people, and Steve kind of enjoys it. 

By the time he gets to the restaurant and heaves the wooden door open, most of his nerves have dissipated. 

“Hi, I have a reservation for 7:30 under Romanoff?” Steve says to the hostess at the front. She beams at him and leads him away to the table. 

“Right this way, your party is already here,” she informs him. 

Great, not even a moment to collect himself before he has to put on a face for…

_ “Steve?”  _

Steve looks up to find Tony in front of him, mouth agape at the situation unfolding in front of them. 

“Tony?”

“I’ll leave you two to it,” the hostess says, setting two menus down and getting the hell out of dodge. 

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks, gesturing for Tony to take his seat again. He tucks himself in across from him and tries not to notice how good Tony looks in his black sweater, a pair of his favorite so-called  _ fancy sneakers _ and a watch Steve knows he’d had for years. 

He looks  _ perfect _ . He looks like home. The thought catches Steve off guard.

“I could ask you the same question. I’m supposed to be meeting Rhodey,” Tony explains. 

“I’m supposed to be on my mystery date,” Steve tells him, watching as Tony’s face settles. 

“I think our friends conspired against us,” Tony says with a nervous laugh. The sound settles Steve, though. At least he wasn’t the only nervous one, thrown completely off-kilter by this change of events. 

“Nat was setting me up… with  _ you? _ ”

Tony laughs again. “Well don’t sound so overjoyed, buttercup. I know how to show a guy a good time.”

Steve’s face heats immediately at the look Tony gives him. He knows better than anyone the kind of _nice_ _night_ Tony Starks could show someone. He’d spent five years trying and failing not to think of such nights. 

“I didn’t mean— It’s just that we’re…”

“Divorced,” Tony finishes the sentence for him, the word hanging heavy in the air between them. It's hardly an excuse, though, and they both know it. They didn’t exactly act like exes. And Steve, for better or worse, had begun to accept the fact that he just…  _ missed Tony _ . 

“I’m kidding,” Tony says, he leans over across the table, looking at Steve seriously. “We have been seeing each other a lot more this year,” he points out. 

“We have."

“Thank you… for coming over after everything with Obie,” Tony says quietly. “I don’t think I ever said that, but you were the first person who did, and it meant a lot. That it was you.” 

“Of course, Tony,” Steve says quickly. “You know I’ll always be there, no matter what.” 

And maybe that’s it, maybe that’s the crux of it. Their marriage had technically failed, but isn’t this what marriage is? Choosing to show up for someone, always? No matter what?

“Me, too. I meant it, all those times. You’ve ruined me for anyone else,” Tony says, his voice sounding dangerously thick. Steve’s heart pounds in his chest. Are they doing this, right here? In a sushi restaurant orchestrated by Natasha? 

“Tony,” Steve says, giving himself one last attempt at fighting this, at being responsible, but Tony’s looking at him like he already knows it’s a lost cause. 

“What if we gave it another try? A real try? I’m certainly not perfect, but I’ve never stopped loving you, Steve Rogers,” Tony says, looking at him across the table. At some point, Tony must have taken Steve’s hand in his, and Steve is only just now noticing the warm weight of it. It feels nice.  _ Right. _

“I didn’t want you to go out with Thor,” Steve says out of nowhere.

Tony smiles and Steve’s pretty sure he can feel the warmth of it all the way down to his toes. “You don’t say. The way you showed up half-drunk didn’t give it away at all.”

“Sorry,” Steve laughs. “What I mean is… I don’t think I ever really gave up on us,” he says, squeezing Tony’s hand. “I think I always knew we’d get a second chance.” 

He hadn’t actually realized he thought that until he said it out loud, and the truth of it strikes him. Of course he’d never given up on Tony. Why else hadn’t he wanted to date other people, or make any real effort on these setups? Why else would he have stayed in Tony’s orbit all these years, always drifting close enough to return at any time?

“So, we’re really doing this,” Tony says, looking up at Steve. The hope in his eyes is clear, and Steve takes a deep breath, suddenly more sure of this than he’s been of anything since… maybe since he married Tony the first time. 

“We’re doing this,” Steve confirms. He smooths a thumb over Tony’s hand. He knows it won’t be easy; far from it, given their track record, but he’s confident they have what it takes this time. 

“I can’t believe for once I’m gonna have to tell Nat that one of these went well,” Tony says, grinning at Steve from across the table. 

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “This time she definitely got it right.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> i'm omg-just-peachy on tumblr, come say hi!


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